The good ones go if you wait too long, so you should go before you stay too long. — Dustin Moya
Awaking from another confusing night of dreams that centers around the girl that is so affectionately referred to as shmurnt, I continue to know that I need to let her go. My hope that this may be the last night I am haunted by her face–walking away from her in my dream, even when I am awake the thought has a large degree of sadness. Attempting to shake the previous nights memory from my thoughts, it is just after 7am, and Marc and I are getting ready for the walk up to the special needs school. Having the relaxed freedom of confiding in my English consigliore, I share with him the morning’s thought that weighs heavy upon my mind, and being the great friend that he is, tells me what I already know, and that is I need to let her go completely. Lingering on this constant thought that is easier said than done, I am prepared to let what needs to happen occur and look forward to the distraction of spending time with the kids. Unfortunately, as we reach the small light blue building where the van picks us up, there is already a large group of volunteers waiting and we are unable to spend the next four hours doing what we both have a passion for. Who would have thought that there could be too many volunteers? Unfortunately for us, the director of the program has warned us of this possible scenario. Since the school, which is a single classroom, is a small space, only so many people are allowed to volunteer with the fifteen students that make up the school and often university, church, and other groups will come to volunteer for a short term basis, which leaves us without the opportunity to spend time there on those particular days. Distraught from this, we are unsure what to do with our morning since it is not even 8am yet. Turning around we walk back to the hostel, and find ways to escape the heat. Since this morning we have power, I decide to catch up on much of my journaling that often gets placed on the backburner, and I am thankful to have this therapeutic outlet.