Almost everyone who reaches a plateau where he or she is happy and comfortable says it's because of finding balance between work, relaxation, exercise, socialising and family - plus some alone time to do something contemplative, creative, or educational. – Neil Strauss
Thursday, January 7, 2016 (DAY 1,402)
The travel lifestyle can be full of adventure, insights, incredibly fun, but just like anything over a period of time it can become a bit of an indifferent feeling. People have asked me, are you ever going to stop? Do you ever feel excitement now that you have seen and done so much? And the honest answer is, well yes. Sometimes you get to another beach or waterfall or jungle and sometimes it's just a feeling of, meh, ok cool it's another very beautiful place, but that wow factor isn't what it used to be. Also being a solo traveler you
experience extreme degrees of loneliness at times, but I feel that this is not only necessary for all people to experience because it helps you to mature and develop through some of the most difficult of circumstances. Of course it's not always easy or pleasant as many people only focus upon the photos I post and they often never think about the fact that I spent 14-hours on a bus without a toilet being sleep-deprived and crammed into small spaces while driving through roadways that most people couldn't stomach, whether that be the motion sickness, body odors, or the fact that your rickety old bus is mere inches from sliding off a cliff. I will say that I have grown in ways that I feel I could never have if I would have chosen to stay in Denver and continued to live a very comfortable lifestyle and just focus on building my professional career even further. When I found out a few years ago that my former boss, Rachael Weaver (Senior VP of Network Programming), had to retire due to health reasons. First of all, of course I was very saddened by this news and reached out to her, because we had a wonderful working relationship of more than 10-years. Secondly, it did make me stop and think about my previous career goal, which being a determined individual, I often told friends that my goal was to be the Senior VP or Director of Network Programming for a network such as HBO, Starz, or even a smaller network by the age of 35, because I felt that I had reached the pinnacle or ceiling of my professional status at HDNet. And, it was of course not hard to think that most likely I would have stepped into this role at the age of 32 if I had not chosen to retire from my career in broadcast television.
However, once again I have digressed. Long-term travel blues do occur, and I can admit that I have felt them not just once or twice but multiple times. I've questioned whether it was time to return to the States and if I had grown tired of this lifestyle. Because, once again it's not all roses and freedom. There are plenty of sacrifices to be made. I've had to sacrifice stability through relationships–not being there to see my nieces grow up, friends get married, or be there to comfort family even when my grandfather passed away! But, I will say that I felt extremely thankful that I had time to spend with my grandfather before I left and he not only did he give me some wonderful words of wisdom having been a minister most of his life, but also highly encouraged me to go knowing that life moves on regardless, because living life with the constant idea of death is not truly living but live in wait of dying. I'll never forget that.
I also remember talking with my good friend Jeremy who took time to travel round the world after graduating college from UC Santa Barbara and he told me that one thing he missed during his extended travels was simple things like daily routines. Once again another great piece of advice. I feel that in order to maintain this type of lifestyle you do need to find a good and healthy balance. One way to overcome the loneliness, of course has been staying at hostels and making some amazing friends from all around the world. However, these friendships come and go quickly, because as a backpacker you are often heading in different directions and while we have many ways now to keep in touch, just like anything, over time those messages begin to become more scarce.
An easier way of developing a routine, has been regaining my entrepreneurial spirit. It's pretty amazing to me even when I stop and think about it, but I have started three different businesses spanning two different continents and have worked as a professional consultant on three different continents. I've been offered jobs and even continue to receive offers from investors for whenever I might be ready to begin yet another big business venture, since every single business I have started both in the United States and abroad has not only be a limited partnership, always no more than two other individuals, but my businesses have required less than a $100 investment from the partners and EVERY business has been profitable within one-week and one a two of my international businesses has held a profit margin of 60% or more! I know you are saying, that's insane and I don't believe it! But it's true. I prefer to keep my methods a trade secret at this time, because I am still constantly thinking of new potential ideas, but this again is one way I have learned to develop a routine, which I do crave from time-to-time. Therefore, without continuing to digress even more, here is are some suggestions of overcoming travel blues for the extended traveler.
The travel lifestyle can be full of adventure, insights, incredibly fun, but just like anything over a period of time it can become a bit of an indifferent feeling. People have asked me, are you ever going to stop? Do you ever feel excitement now that you have seen and done so much? And the honest answer is, well yes. Sometimes you get to another beach or waterfall or jungle and sometimes it's just a feeling of, meh, ok cool it's another very beautiful place, but that wow factor isn't what it used to be. Also being a solo traveler you
experience extreme degrees of loneliness at times, but I feel that this is not only necessary for all people to experience because it helps you to mature and develop through some of the most difficult of circumstances. Of course it's not always easy or pleasant as many people only focus upon the photos I post and they often never think about the fact that I spent 14-hours on a bus without a toilet being sleep-deprived and crammed into small spaces while driving through roadways that most people couldn't stomach, whether that be the motion sickness, body odors, or the fact that your rickety old bus is mere inches from sliding off a cliff. I will say that I have grown in ways that I feel I could never have if I would have chosen to stay in Denver and continued to live a very comfortable lifestyle and just focus on building my professional career even further. When I found out a few years ago that my former boss, Rachael Weaver (Senior VP of Network Programming), had to retire due to health reasons. First of all, of course I was very saddened by this news and reached out to her, because we had a wonderful working relationship of more than 10-years. Secondly, it did make me stop and think about my previous career goal, which being a determined individual, I often told friends that my goal was to be the Senior VP or Director of Network Programming for a network such as HBO, Starz, or even a smaller network by the age of 35, because I felt that I had reached the pinnacle or ceiling of my professional status at HDNet. And, it was of course not hard to think that most likely I would have stepped into this role at the age of 32 if I had not chosen to retire from my career in broadcast television.
However, once again I have digressed. Long-term travel blues do occur, and I can admit that I have felt them not just once or twice but multiple times. I've questioned whether it was time to return to the States and if I had grown tired of this lifestyle. Because, once again it's not all roses and freedom. There are plenty of sacrifices to be made. I've had to sacrifice stability through relationships–not being there to see my nieces grow up, friends get married, or be there to comfort family even when my grandfather passed away! But, I will say that I felt extremely thankful that I had time to spend with my grandfather before I left and he not only did he give me some wonderful words of wisdom having been a minister most of his life, but also highly encouraged me to go knowing that life moves on regardless, because living life with the constant idea of death is not truly living but live in wait of dying. I'll never forget that.
I also remember talking with my good friend Jeremy who took time to travel round the world after graduating college from UC Santa Barbara and he told me that one thing he missed during his extended travels was simple things like daily routines. Once again another great piece of advice. I feel that in order to maintain this type of lifestyle you do need to find a good and healthy balance. One way to overcome the loneliness, of course has been staying at hostels and making some amazing friends from all around the world. However, these friendships come and go quickly, because as a backpacker you are often heading in different directions and while we have many ways now to keep in touch, just like anything, over time those messages begin to become more scarce.
An easier way of developing a routine, has been regaining my entrepreneurial spirit. It's pretty amazing to me even when I stop and think about it, but I have started three different businesses spanning two different continents and have worked as a professional consultant on three different continents. I've been offered jobs and even continue to receive offers from investors for whenever I might be ready to begin yet another big business venture, since every single business I have started both in the United States and abroad has not only be a limited partnership, always no more than two other individuals, but my businesses have required less than a $100 investment from the partners and EVERY business has been profitable within one-week and one a two of my international businesses has held a profit margin of 60% or more! I know you are saying, that's insane and I don't believe it! But it's true. I prefer to keep my methods a trade secret at this time, because I am still constantly thinking of new potential ideas, but this again is one way I have learned to develop a routine, which I do crave from time-to-time. Therefore, without continuing to digress even more, here is are some suggestions of overcoming travel blues for the extended traveler.
LONG-TERM TRAVEL BECOMES THE NORM
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Images on social media, such as Facebook and Instagram, can often lead to deceptive and often misleading aspects of the budget traveling lifestyle. People often forget that in order to take that picturesque photo of pristine beaches there was often multiple challenges and degrees of hard and/or uncomfortable work involved. Whether that meant an extremely long and uncomfortable bus ride, negotiating in foreign languages–frequently testing your level of patience–fighting off bugs or dangerous environments, etc and etc. I can guarantee you that more than 90% of the family and friends back in the United States would shutter and could not handle some of the modes of transportation I have experienced, places I have slept–including pushing two tables together outside of the Phnom Penh airport while being eaten alive by mosquitoes–and the harsh and extreme situations in order to get to areas that are well off the beaten mainstream tourists path. With that said, there have been plenty of times that I have sat and thought, "man, I have a fricken four-bedroom three-bathroom house waiting for me back in Colorado and I could be enjoying the luxuries of consistent electricity, constant hot showers, and 24-hour food options. Is this adventure about time to be over?" But, after taking time to reconsider my options–as I try not to make extreme bid decisions in haste, the same prior to leaving the United States to quit my 12-year career and spent nearly a year in planning and make the appropriate preparations–over time I realize that not only do I have an excess of freedom, but this freedom has also allowed me to be more of an entrepreneur that I could have ever imagined. I mean how many other people, that are not ultra-rich as I am not, could say they have the ability to own their own businesses, save 88% of their income monthly, work the hours they want, and vacation three to four months out of the year? This is how I often am able to overcome the blues and create a NEW norm of a living standard.
VENT HONSTELY TO FRIENDS BACK HOME
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When you fall in to that rut of a lack of motivation, a lack of things that inspire or excite you. I think talking with those that know you best from back home can be a great way to regain a sense of connection as well as time to allow you to possibly make the decision as to whether it may be time to return home permanently or for a brief period of time. I also feel that this is where your personal level of maturity and reasons for travel begin to come to the forefront, whether you were originally leaving to travel because of unemployment, a bad break up, or other personal issues. From my personal experience of those that I have met that seemed to be 'running' from something is probably one of the most difficult because the problems you left behind will most likely be there whenever you do return, they just may be exponentially worse or at a higher-level of magnification. I've seriously met some that thought running away to travel to avoid creditors would somehow make their bad credit disappear. In the words of John McLaughlin, "WRONG."
TAKE A REST
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When you are living this travel lifestyle, just like anything, you need days off or days to yourself. I'll never forget my last full day in Bogota, Colombia I was in the dorm on the top bunk and felt like laying in bed watching movies all day. Around 11am an American guy came into the dorm and saw me earlier and said, "hey man, c'mon you can't lay in bed all day. Let's go do something." Smiling back at him as I briefly sat up, I asked him, "wait a second there cowboy, when did you arrive in Colombia and how long are you here for?" He said, "I just arrived late last night and I'm here for about 10-days." Continuing to smile, I told him, "well, I've been traveling for more than a year and have spent the past two consecutive days on buses traveling across Colombia." Therefore, not only was my body aching from the uncomfortable bus seats, but anyone that has taken the bus back to Bogota coming from the West knows that it's fully of windy mountainous roads that toss you back and forth making it almost impossible to sleep because you are being thrown into the person sitting next to you every few seconds. I was also running on only a few hours of sleep and I had a flight departing the next day along with another six-hour bus ride from San Jose, Costa Rica with an overland border crossing two bus transfers before arriving back at my hostel I was co-managing in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. Therefore, don't feel guilty about taking these 'ME-DAYS' as my cousin-brother Flava Dave has dubbed them. I will admit that now days I typically don't feel the need to explain myself to every traveler when they do catch me laying in bed for most–if not all day–because this lifestyle can be very brutal on you both physically and mentally. Therefore, embrace those lazy days even when the sun is shining and everyone in your dorm or hostel is heading out on a group activity. Don't only learn to say no, but feel empowered being able to do so. One last story, I'll never forget when my friend Char and I ended up randomly at one of the noisiest party hostels in Cusco, Peru and while I was in the restaurant/bar area the locals were trying to get people to take the spoonful of cinnamon challenge. If you haven't heard of this WATCH THIS. When they began trying to pressure Josh and myself, he had the best response. He flat out looked at the guy behind the bar and said, I'm NOT doing this. I'm a grown-a** man and I don't give in to peer pressure." All I could do is smile and begin laughing. When he turned to me, I told him good luck in trying to pressure me too, because, son, it ain't happening!
ACCESS YOUR BLUES
Pausing in a period of silence, self-reflecting upon all that I have experienced up to this moment in time, on Koh Rong Island, Cambodia (2014)
Sometimes you also need to just embrace feeling a bit down and taking that alone time for yourself. I've done this plenty of times. I'd go for walks by myself. Sit in coffee shops all day reading or writing. Whatever method you feel you need to embrace the blues. Even if that's taking part in your guilty pleasure of watching reruns of Golden Girls. Just realize I'll make fun of you without mercy, so your choice in embracing the blues may just be extended if you have something that is open to complete and public shaming.
FINDING A BALANCE
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Perpetual and constant travel is not a good balance and you will quickly get burned out! I realized this with my first solo backpacking trip to Europe in 2005. I breezed through 15 cities and nine countries in six weeks! On average I spent two-to-three days in each location before moving on and this was absolutely taxing AND expensive. This first trip was an invaluable lesson for budget travel because it taught me two very important lessons.
The first is that in order to save money, I needed to travel slowly. This allows you to negotiate better prices on accommodations. You can spend more time asking and shopping around when it comes to any activities in the area, even being invited to participate in some excursions for free either from locals or because you meet people that are in the area short-term and the activity has a minimum number of people required and that's when the group may just offer to pay you to meet this requirement. I've received free surf lessons, free meals, free rides, free clothing, and free hugs.
The second, is that I need to learn to budget much better. Western Europe is already expensive in comparison with many other regions around the world, specifically Central America and South East Asia, and I knew that in order to stretch my budget I would have to make a variety of sacrifices, such as; staying in dorms instead of private rooms, stopping to volunteer in exchange for accommodation and/or meals, take on jobs that before I would have considered were beneath me because of my level of education and previous professional experience, but this was a wonderfully humbling time and has helped me realize where my priorities lay and what I consider to be necessities and what I consider to be luxuries. Above all, this has given me a much greater appreciation for what I have in life, growing up in the United States, having the opportunity to be educated at a top University in the States, and all of the more odd things that I took for granted before; clean laundry, hot showers, waking to know that there will be electricity and running water, the accessibility to food at any given time day or night, and Stove Top™. Yup, had to throw that in there! I really feel that I can't be long-term friends with anyone that doesn't have a genuine appreciate for this sodium rich processed packaged deliciousness. Currently, my dorm-mate Jacob has an infatuation as do I for this ingenious side dish, along with one of my best friends, Andrea back in the Mile High City. Kraft foods you sir, have developed the true crack addiction food item!
The first is that in order to save money, I needed to travel slowly. This allows you to negotiate better prices on accommodations. You can spend more time asking and shopping around when it comes to any activities in the area, even being invited to participate in some excursions for free either from locals or because you meet people that are in the area short-term and the activity has a minimum number of people required and that's when the group may just offer to pay you to meet this requirement. I've received free surf lessons, free meals, free rides, free clothing, and free hugs.
The second, is that I need to learn to budget much better. Western Europe is already expensive in comparison with many other regions around the world, specifically Central America and South East Asia, and I knew that in order to stretch my budget I would have to make a variety of sacrifices, such as; staying in dorms instead of private rooms, stopping to volunteer in exchange for accommodation and/or meals, take on jobs that before I would have considered were beneath me because of my level of education and previous professional experience, but this was a wonderfully humbling time and has helped me realize where my priorities lay and what I consider to be necessities and what I consider to be luxuries. Above all, this has given me a much greater appreciation for what I have in life, growing up in the United States, having the opportunity to be educated at a top University in the States, and all of the more odd things that I took for granted before; clean laundry, hot showers, waking to know that there will be electricity and running water, the accessibility to food at any given time day or night, and Stove Top™. Yup, had to throw that in there! I really feel that I can't be long-term friends with anyone that doesn't have a genuine appreciate for this sodium rich processed packaged deliciousness. Currently, my dorm-mate Jacob has an infatuation as do I for this ingenious side dish, along with one of my best friends, Andrea back in the Mile High City. Kraft foods you sir, have developed the true crack addiction food item!
ROUTINE AND STABILITY
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As I mentioned before, missing some type of routine and stability in how you use your time becomes something that I feel we all crave on some level. I feel that for those of us that are entrepreneurs we search out our own ways to utilize our time. Sometimes that time is spent sitting and people-watching. I think one of the greatest things in our ever-growing fast-paced global culture, is that we are often living lives that are too scheduled and we forget to just pause and observe and appreciate the small things in life. I also feel that during these times is when those great ideas tend to come to you. When people ask me what I miss most from home, they often thinks it's always going to be the most obvious answers such as family, friends, certain foods–which of course are on the top of the list–but they are also surprised when I say things like, I miss cleaning my own bathroom or kitchen. I miss not only driving sometimes, but pulling in and filling up my car and squeeging the heck out of my windshield until it sparkles. The simple very odd things in life. So, my suggestion is try and find ways that will bring familiarity of routine for periods of time to cope with the long-term travel blues.
TAKE MINI VACATIONS FROM YOUR TRAVEL LIFE
Sunrise at Machu Piccu (2013)
Of course this sounds extremely odd to those that are sitting at home or at work reading about my adventures and seeing the photos of places I've been or hearing about where I'm headed next, because I'm sure you are thinking, why does he need a vacation from this permanent vacation he's been living for the past almost four-years?! Well, once again this is something that only backpackers or budget travelers that have spent an extended amount of time living out of a backpack and on the move can relate to unfortunately. It's very similar to being a Korean adoptee. No matter how long I can sit and try to explain to you what it feels like and how often I can't truly express in words what it means, but when I'm around other adoptees–whether they're American, Canadian, Dutch, Australian, Danish, Swedish, French, etc–we all can relate to one another without words because we all share this very unique part of our life that WILL be with us for the rest of our life.
So, sometimes when you take a break from being constantly on the move, you need those short breaks of escape to recharge just like anyone else. When I was managing a small 16-bed hostel in Bangkok or a 64-bed hostel in Nicaragua dealing with an international staff, there were several times that I needed to get out, whether that was to go and have dinner with my friend Krista who was managing Naked Tiger hostel and we could vent to one another all the things that couldn't be discussed amid guests, or in my current situation as I'm working hard to build my businesses in Korea. I feel that I have always tried to push myself to be a hard worker and in doing so, I often push myself a bit too hard and need a break and complete disconnect from technology and even verbally speaking with others, because it can be exhausting. So, don't feel guilty take a holiday from what others may think is a permanent holiday, which of course it can sometimes be but not always.
So, sometimes when you take a break from being constantly on the move, you need those short breaks of escape to recharge just like anyone else. When I was managing a small 16-bed hostel in Bangkok or a 64-bed hostel in Nicaragua dealing with an international staff, there were several times that I needed to get out, whether that was to go and have dinner with my friend Krista who was managing Naked Tiger hostel and we could vent to one another all the things that couldn't be discussed amid guests, or in my current situation as I'm working hard to build my businesses in Korea. I feel that I have always tried to push myself to be a hard worker and in doing so, I often push myself a bit too hard and need a break and complete disconnect from technology and even verbally speaking with others, because it can be exhausting. So, don't feel guilty take a holiday from what others may think is a permanent holiday, which of course it can sometimes be but not always.
VALUE RELATIONSHIPS (BOTH PAST AND PRESENT)
Surprisingly I was able to organize 22 friends to fly in to Denver for a long weekend snowboarding trip, obviously from the date stamp this was a year before I left the United States. This photo is taken outside the Coors Brewery in Golden, Colorado
Living in the moment, or as my ex-girlfriend may say, "pura vida." I know it's not always the easiest to maintain these relationships, because even though you're out interacting with new people on almost a daily basis, your family and friends back home are still continuing to go about their own lives. When I first returned to Colorado after more than three and a half years of being absent from the Mile High City, practically every one of my friends were married, had children, or were planning stages to get married. Life moves on regardless of if you are there or not, and the genuine friendships will be there from both sides regardless of how much time passes or at what points on the globe you may each be at the current moment.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO RETURN HOME
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Don't be afraid to return home, whether that be earlier than you were hoping or not. I always knew that when I was preparing to leave and was bombarded with questions from friends. I felt as though they were very concerned for me thinking I was foolish giving up a career I had worked so hard for and established myself into an extremely comfortably lifestyle, especially financially. However, as the old saying goes, "sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze," and in this case I knew that even if I quit my job with no guarantee of gaining it back upon returning even if that meant returning after six-months or a year, that I would still rather set out and make the attempt by trying than to wake up at 80-years-old having this massive regret weighing on my mind.
One story that sent chills up all of our spines was while I was staying at a hostel in Mancora, Peru situated on the Pacific Coast and was incredible falling asleep to the sound of the surf every night, there was a Peruvian guy, unfortunately I cannot remember his name so we will call him Pedro. Well, Pedro was working at the hostel and grew up near Cusco and worked for several years as a tour guide at Machu Piccu. Once during one of his tours he had a mixed group including an elderly couple from England. At one point the older gentleman sat down and just began sobbing. Pedro immediately went over to the older man's wife and asked if he should get someone for medical attention for her husband. She very calmly said, "no, he will be alright. I think he just needs someone to talk with, and I think it should be you." Extremely surprised that she felt it shouldn't be herself–his wife of decades–so he hesitantly and timidly approached the man by just slowly sitting down beside him, first in silence, then he asked the older man, "Sir, are you ok? Should I get someone to assist you?" The older man said, "no," amid his tears. And after a brief period of silence. He admitted to Pedro and said, "I feel as though I have let my life slip by." Pedro was quite surprised by this response and said, "what do you mean?" The older Englishman said, "well, I see you and all these young people (backpackers) here [at Machu Piccu] and I'm an old man now, and I just feel as though I was too concerned with doing all the things in life that society tells us to do." In this sense, meaning that we NEED to get good grades in high school in order to get into a good University finished our degree to get acquire a good job and build a career then get married have children work for 40 or 50-years and then you can retire and that's when you can begin to enjoy life. Is this truly the only formula for being considered a valuable and successful member of society?
I'm not saying this is wrong by any means, but it did make us all stop and think about why each of us left behind or continue to sacrifice a stable life to do many of these things that would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to do in your 70s or 80s. Just as I've used the quote before, I find it to continue to be fitting:
One story that sent chills up all of our spines was while I was staying at a hostel in Mancora, Peru situated on the Pacific Coast and was incredible falling asleep to the sound of the surf every night, there was a Peruvian guy, unfortunately I cannot remember his name so we will call him Pedro. Well, Pedro was working at the hostel and grew up near Cusco and worked for several years as a tour guide at Machu Piccu. Once during one of his tours he had a mixed group including an elderly couple from England. At one point the older gentleman sat down and just began sobbing. Pedro immediately went over to the older man's wife and asked if he should get someone for medical attention for her husband. She very calmly said, "no, he will be alright. I think he just needs someone to talk with, and I think it should be you." Extremely surprised that she felt it shouldn't be herself–his wife of decades–so he hesitantly and timidly approached the man by just slowly sitting down beside him, first in silence, then he asked the older man, "Sir, are you ok? Should I get someone to assist you?" The older man said, "no," amid his tears. And after a brief period of silence. He admitted to Pedro and said, "I feel as though I have let my life slip by." Pedro was quite surprised by this response and said, "what do you mean?" The older Englishman said, "well, I see you and all these young people (backpackers) here [at Machu Piccu] and I'm an old man now, and I just feel as though I was too concerned with doing all the things in life that society tells us to do." In this sense, meaning that we NEED to get good grades in high school in order to get into a good University finished our degree to get acquire a good job and build a career then get married have children work for 40 or 50-years and then you can retire and that's when you can begin to enjoy life. Is this truly the only formula for being considered a valuable and successful member of society?
I'm not saying this is wrong by any means, but it did make us all stop and think about why each of us left behind or continue to sacrifice a stable life to do many of these things that would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to do in your 70s or 80s. Just as I've used the quote before, I find it to continue to be fitting:
“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
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