I tried to live the normal life but it's empty and unfulfilling. I'm not really living and need to get back to who I truly am and what makes me happy like nothing else could...we travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.
– Natalie Vigil
Tuesday, July 3, 2012 (DAY 121)
Now that I have been deserted from my Canadian roommates, traitors, I can spend the next few days catching up on the sleep that has eluded me the past few weeks. This should not been difficult in my windowless room that tends to provide the perfect environment for such a request. While the cessation of my new residence is free of house guests that despise me for leaving the toilet seat up and being reluctant to share my feelings openly like an episode of The View, I am ready to settle in to my bachelor pad of paradise, or lack thereof in the remote state of luxuries that I am learning to live without in order to find that living is more than just obtaining comforts that can ultimately become distractions. Even though I am without the company of my maple leaf Benedict Arnolds, San Juan del Sur is still a close-knit community of backpackers and I am still left with the other pair from Winterpeg, Krista and Lexi, not to mention the supporting cast of characters from around the small coastal beach town. My afternoon is spent walking the entirety of the crescent shaped beach, just taking in the sights and sounds of a life I could have never imagined for me just two years ago. The peaceful freedom that I continue to experience in my life is priceless in comparison to the path of so-called success that I once strived after, but I have come to realize that living this life only once, I want to make it count and to live out my dream and hope that you are on a path to doing the same.
Now that I have been deserted from my Canadian roommates, traitors, I can spend the next few days catching up on the sleep that has eluded me the past few weeks. This should not been difficult in my windowless room that tends to provide the perfect environment for such a request. While the cessation of my new residence is free of house guests that despise me for leaving the toilet seat up and being reluctant to share my feelings openly like an episode of The View, I am ready to settle in to my bachelor pad of paradise, or lack thereof in the remote state of luxuries that I am learning to live without in order to find that living is more than just obtaining comforts that can ultimately become distractions. Even though I am without the company of my maple leaf Benedict Arnolds, San Juan del Sur is still a close-knit community of backpackers and I am still left with the other pair from Winterpeg, Krista and Lexi, not to mention the supporting cast of characters from around the small coastal beach town. My afternoon is spent walking the entirety of the crescent shaped beach, just taking in the sights and sounds of a life I could have never imagined for me just two years ago. The peaceful freedom that I continue to experience in my life is priceless in comparison to the path of so-called success that I once strived after, but I have come to realize that living this life only once, I want to make it count and to live out my dream and hope that you are on a path to doing the same.
Often I think of Kayley, who was to be my travel companion on this great adventure and wish her all the best in the world and hope that she too, will experience the same liberating feelings I have after taking that first scary step in to the unknown. When I think back to my last summer in Colorado, I think of all the memories we have shared; Our first meeting at Three Dogs and sitting and talking for hours of the aspirations and dreams we both share in our passion for life and for others. The aggressive hike through El Dorado Canyon where she hurled verbal insults at me to keep up with her as I carried the backpack for both of us. It was not until she was weighed down with both straps over her shoulders that she realized keeping pace was not nearly as easy as she once thought. Wicka-wicka, how the tables have turned. The summer nights that have always brought special memories, and knowing this could be my last, I am still thankful in our happenstance meeting and having the opportunity to share many of them with her. I think back to the late night pots of chai tea shared at Paris discussing our plan of escape. Walking through the downtown neighborhoods as the sun was setting over the city. Sharing a blanket on the lawn of Civic Center Park as we took in the free Sunday night movie. Knowing that I could call her up last minute at 10pm on Monday night and within minutes of making the call she was ready for me to pick her up for an adventurous night at Gov’s Park. The smile and laughter that she emits is infectious, and so many times I can hear it at the front of my thoughts at many of the situations I find myself in Central America. The countless times she stayed over as we ate my perfected style of burritos quoting lines from Hot Tub Time Machine. I miss her, because at many of the corners that I take, and new locations I arrive at, I can still hear that voice that I grew to love hearing.
Tonight, I am heading up the hill to Casa de Olas to bid farewell to yet another new pair of friends, Kasey and Ce-Ce, from Brooklyn, New York. The going away party that included a spontaneous dance-off with some French Canadian girls, and, of course, our much-loved mascot Buzz the Spider Monkey. The night was a success in spite of an awkward conversation with one of the guests as we were inspecting the hammock, but all in all it was a great send off to the chicas that could always make me laugh with their sarcastic anecdotes.
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