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MY ADOPTION STORY AND REUNION IN KOREA

10/30/2015

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What you can become depends upon what you can overcome. –  Anthony Douglas Williams

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 (DAY 603)
Today, I have chosen not to include a general topic related to travel information or budget backpacking, but today, I have chosen to share an intimate part of my life. This is the story of my adoption and being reunited with my birth mother, 
where it has been close to 31 years, 9 months, and roughly 8 days since the last time my birth mother has seen me. And, for as much of my life through my backpacking and travel experiences has become public on the Internet, for those that know me best I still tend to remain a relatively private person. While I have not shared this story with many, it has been a long time coming, so please enjoy my adoption story. 

It all began around the Summer of 2011, when I started the process and search for my birthparents with Jan Dunn from Dillon International. Prior to doing this, I spoke extensively with both my adoptive parents and with both of my sisters, whom are also Korean adoptees, however none of us are blood related, and as I had hoped everyone was very supportive in my desire to locate and hopefully be reunited with my birthparents.

PictureArriving at Stapleton Int'l Airport on May 21, 1982
Like most adoptees, I have two birthdays and two names. I was born at home in the southern city of Yeosu, South Korea and later given the name Seung Chul Lee. I was born around 7:30am on what I can only expect was a cold morning in January. My mother was only 19 years-old at the time, while my birth father was 27 years-old. However at the time of my birth, my father had already been absent from my life because while my mother was six-months pregnant with me, he abandoned her–us. I lived at home for about 5-days as my mother contemplated painfully what would be the best future for me, since I was her first born child. She finally made the decision to place me for adoption with Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS) with a set of specific instructions–she wanted me to be adopted by an American family. 

The celebration of my second birthday ocurred four months later on May 21, 1982 at Stapleton International Airport in Denver, Colorado as I was born to Karen and Dale Hendershott and given the name Troy. I had your typical childhood growing up in the Colorado suburbs; riding bikes with neighborhood friends, participating in all of the various pee-wee sports programs, arguing and teasing my sisters, and of course being taught that there is no other team than the Denver Broncos. I did, unfortunately, experience many negatives situations that I often kept hidden from my parents, because I felt as though they could not possibility relate. It was everything that you could imagine–being made fun of as people brought their fingers to their eyes sloping them at you, the verbal racial slurs, bowing or making stereotypical gestures or comments as a form of mocking you, plus a variety of other things just because of how I looked physically. That’s why I continue to say that it’s very difficult, if not nearly impossible, to explain to others how it feels to be a Korean adoptee specifically. 

PictureOutside of Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS)
However today I have awoken in a place unlike any I have experienced in all of my travels–a house filled with other Korean adoptees where we share more similar than different stories. Even though I arrived here the day before and many were arriving late in to the evening, we did have brief chances to get introduced and share a little about where each of us were from–California, Pennsylvania, New York, and a lone Australian. We all agreed that it was such an interesting and surreal environment to be in, knowing that we are all connected through such a significant part of our past and sharing much of the same identity.

Finding it difficult to sleep–as most of us did, I climb out of bed around 7:40am and after a hot shower I begin to organize my things together for a day that I already know I will never forget. Checking to make sure my camera and iPhone are fully charged, I head downstairs and find Mikey from California, but originally from Fort Collins, Colorado, as well as the twins from New York, Danielle and Kaitlynn, all sitting around the kitchen table. Yawns abound as feelings of mixed emotions and excitement are coupled with strong cups of coffee. Just before 9am the four of us are lead out by Crystal and we take the 15-minute walk to the ESWS headquaters. Since there is an organized itinerary for all of us that are participating in the Home to Home Program, we are sectioned into four groups. I believe that this is due to the limited number of volunteers that are acting as translators. Fortunately, I suppose for the sake of nerves, I am in group #1 along with my brekkie mates. As we walk along the bustling city street, Kaitlynn says that this part of the city reminds her of Queens in New York. I tell her that I agree as I spent time a few weeks staying in Rego Park back in 2010 when my friend Kevin’s brother and his wife lived there and we went to visit over the Summer. We begin discussing who we are expecting to meet, and I am surprised when the twins from New York are meeting both their mom and their sister which is their triplet. Mike has an older brother that has been to Korea before and has already met their biological family, so he was taken around the city last night with one of his brothers and today was meeting both his mother and father plus a few other family members. I tell everyone that I am unsure if my half brother and half sister will be joining my mother today or not. Before we know it, we are standing outside of Eastern and for the rest of the group this is their first time seeing the large banner that hangs on the outside of the building. 

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The email I received while in Nicaragua notifying me of locating my birth family
PictureMy social worker at #ESWS, Ms. Kang, that assisted me with my birth family reunion
We are greeted by a few volunteers before being lead to one of the counseling or post-adoption family meeting rooms. Upon entering you notice that there are two couches facing one another with plenty of tissue boxes on the table. There is also a small table with four chairs against the open window along the wall. Sitting nervously, Ms. Kang comes in and we are told that in a few short minutes a volunteer that is designated for each of us will be showing us to separate rooms, and that they are briefing the family members now and then she leaves. This only makes us more anxious. Thinking the minutes may tick away like passing hours, suddenly Ms. Kang bursts through the door with the volunteers and begins directing us with whom to follow. With little time to think, I am walking down the hallway as Ms. Kang tells me that she will be my translator for today. Thinking we are walking through a door to a small room like the one we were just in, it is actually the room where they are briefing the parents. Almost unable to breath, four faces turn and stare in our direction as we come through the door and I know my mother is one of these faces looking back at me. 

PictureOne of the first hugs I shared with my mom
As the group of parents gets up and begins walking back, I notice one woman looking directly at me smiling and I can already sense that this is my mother. Ms. Kang introduces us right there–not waiting to get us to the more intimate counseling room–we share in a long hug that is followed by some tears. As we walk through a set of doors and past some other desks to the corner of the building, my mother cannot let go of my hand. I keep smiling as we enter the small room that has two chairs set up on each side of a white table. I let my mom take her seat and sit next to her as Ms. Kang sits across from us. The entire time my mother cannot let go of me and tells us that she feels as though she is dreaming. The conversation moves slowly as expected with all of the translating. Unsure of what to expect from our first meeting, my mother asks if I would like to come down to stay with her for a night in Iksan, a city in the Southwest part of the country that is situated on the Okgu and Keumman Plains and leads to the West Sea (Yellow Sea). Excited by this unexpected invitation, I tell her that I would love to visit. Discussing this with Ms. Kang we’ve decided that the weekend would be the best time, since it is 3-hours by bus or 90-minutes by the Korean Train Express (KTX) from Seoul. The plan is formulated and agreed upon is that on Friday, my mother will return to the capitol and stay overnight and on Saturday morning we will return to where she lives and I will return to Seoul on Sunday. Ms. Kang informs us that Eastern will be able to provide us a volunteer translator for most of the day Saturday, but not Saturday night or Sunday. She also tells me that I should probably book my return ticket for Sunday in advance since that will most likely be a busy commuting day for others that are returning to Seoul. After this is finalized a series of back and forth questions are exchanged and before we all realize it a person is knocking on the door to let us know that the van downstairs is waiting to take us to the restaurant for lunch.

PictureAnother long embrace
Sharing the van with the girls from New York, there are two conversations going as we begin the short drive through the narrow neighborhood streets–one in Korean and one in English. I tell the twins that their sister does look like them and when they are all together it’s obvious they are triplets. As we arrived at the traditional Korean restaurant, I wish I could tell you the name but I had a little much going through my head at the time, my mother still is clasping my hands and I cannot help but feel like a proud son to her. The restaurant is similar to others I have already visited in Seoul, since I have been in the city for almost two-weeks, but this time we are lead into a private room where we are required to take off our shoes, and it has the low sitting tables with cushions on the floor. Our meal is Bulgogi (불고기), which is thinly sliced or shredded beef marinated in soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, sugar, green onions and black pepper, cooked on a grill at our the table. Bulgogi literally means "fire meat". Variations may include pork (Dweji bulgogi), chicken (Dak bulgogi), or squid (Ojingeo bulgogi), I believe we have the entire mixture. As we sit down to eat, I have failed to mention that we also have a new translator volunteer, Hanah, who had previous worked for ESWS for the past 15-years before moving to New York with her husband for a year and has recently returned to Seoul, but is not returning to work with ESWS full time as she is a full time mommy of two.

PictureLunch at a nearby restaurant with my mom and our volunteer translator
The meal is tasty, but we are more concerned with the conversation that we have been waiting years for. We talk about how and where I grew up, I asked about her children, we discussed my travels, and I learned that my mother is quite the cook and would one day like to open her own restaurant. At one point my mother asks if we can order a beer because she’s still a bit nervous, laughing I say that has to be my mom. As the dishes begin to be cleared from the table and since we have our volunteer translator until 3pm (almost another few hours), we decide to find a nearby coffee shop and continue the conversation. During our conversation at the Coffee Bene, my mother told me that for several years she tried to search for me. This was also when I learned that my Korean name, Seung Chul Lee, was not given to me by her, but by Eastern Social Welfare Services, and this was the primary reason she was unsuccessful in locating and contacting me.

Eastern Social Welfare Society, Inc. (ESWS) is a non-profit organization, licensed by the Ministry of Health and Welfare of the Korean Government. Chairman of the Board: Kim, Dojong, Ph.D. Editor: Na, Hyemin President: Kim, Jinsook, Ph.D. Special thanks to: Christina Saia Chief Editor: Kim, Tae-Kyoung Printed: Namkang ESWS Founded: March 18, 1972 Website: www.eastern.or.kr/english Email: postadoption@eastern.or.kr
PictureEnjoying getting to know one another with our translator
Over the years of attempting to search for which family and where I had been adopted to in the States, she eventually had given up hope. I asked her how she felt when ESWS contacted her to let her know that I was searching for her? She said that she was overcome with joy and thanked God that I was alive and healthy and wanted to meet her. When it was time to depart, we slowly strolled to the subway station, once again her hands clasped around mine and there was a long embrace. Not wanting to let one another go, I told her that I am excited for Friday and the weekend, and as I had to be the first to walk away, once I reached about the middle of that block I turned back and she was still standing there watching me as if I were a child walking off to school. She waved at me and I couldn’t help but be overcome with emotion.

I have just recently written a blog for KADs that are interested in moving to Korea either short-term or indefinitely, if you are interest please read:
ADVICE FOR KADS MOVING TO KOREA: BLOG
The video below is is Melissa 'Mila' Konomos' Birth Family Reunion, which took more than 7-years various non-profit organizations (#DillonInternational) in the United States and Eastern Social Welfare Society (#ESWS) in Seoul. This was also the video that inspired and encouraged me to begin my birth family search, which took me close to 2-years. 
The video below is by Pierre a French-Korean adoptee, and does a great job of the importance to many of us that are adopted and why we have come back, please watch.

우리가 돌아왔다 (We Came Back) from Pierre OGERON on Vimeo.

To learn more about ESWS here is a short promotional video that talks about the history and if you can this is an excellent organization to support financially and I encourage family and friends to please do so HERE. 
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HOW I AVERAGE BETWEEN $6-$15 A DAY IN KOREA

11/4/2013

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If you accept your limitations you go beyond them. - Author Unknown

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Sunday, November 3, 2013 (DAY 608)
I know that many of you are wondering (and continue to ask) how I am able to continue to travel financially on such a small daily budget, not only in a First World country such as Korea when the suggested daily allowance according to Lonely Planet is between ₩100,000 and ₩300,000 ($94 - $283) per day, but also in general? Well, budgeting is probably one of the most important skills you will either sink or swim by when expecting to do any type of extended travel, and as a backpacker I’ve learned several things, but today I will be more specific for the country that I am currently in, but several of these can be utilized in other areas of the world, with some exceptions of course. Once again remember that I have been averaging between $6 and $15 per day, some days it is more and others it is actually less, shockingly. So this is my list of,

4 BIG WAYS TO SAVE MONEY IN KOREA:

#4 TRANSPORTATION: 
Left foot, right foot, it’s called walking. This costs nothing, provides some good exercise (especially now when the weather is very moderate to cool), and this also allows you to become more familiar with the city and what’s going on at street level venturing out to many of the side streets and non-touristy areas. If you do have to take a form of transportation don’t be afraid to use the public transit systems (the subway and buses). Korea’s advanced transportation system is one of the world’s most expansive and is constantly changing and growing. According to data from 2010, there were nine major subway lines that covered more than 250 km (155 mi) and an average 8 million passengers are transported daily. The many natural gas operated buses also has a far-reaching configuration route, which is also quite extensive and reaches almost every area of the city. The rule of thumb is that if you are going to utilize these forms of transportation while in Seoul for more than a few days, whether that be the subway, buses, or even taxis, purchase a T-money card. This can be purchased for a mere ₩3,000 ($2.82) but most importantly make sure you add additional Korean wons, because the initial ₩3,000 is only for the card, you must load additional credits to it after retrieving the card from one of the subway vending machines or a convenience store. My friend Hanah realized the mistake of not adding additional credits to her card when we boarded a local bus, since there are card readers that will deduct credits from the card when scanned and there was the annoying beep that indicates you do not have enough credits for the ride. I also know what you’re thinking–how much value should I add to the card? Well the great thing about this system is that you can never add too much because even if you have quite a bit left over at the end of your stay in Korea not only can this amount be refunded back in Korean wons but you will also get a portion back for recycling the T-money card itself. This is also the case for single journey tickets and can be done after exiting through one of the turn-styles at a nearby vending machine, the recycle refund is only ₩300 (.28 cents), and I know many of you are laughing at this, but hey, when you’re a budget traveler every little bit helps and this is again how I’ve been able to maintain an incredibly cheap daily budget. Lastly, when using the subway or buses realize that transfers between the two are free, yes, FREE! 
#3 FOOD: 
This is where I can be an anomaly, camel-like at best. I know it’s not always the most nutritious, but I typically don’t eat breakfast and will fill up on a large late lunch or even early dinner. Street food and cheaper all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ have been great cheap options. Plus most of the restaurants provide multiple side dishes with free refills, so this is the time to attack it like a fat kid all over a cupcake.  

#2 ACTIVITIES: 
Forget about Groupon in Korea, here it’s all about Coupang and Ticketmonster. Also if you have the time either while you are in Korea or my suggestion before you arrive (once again research days), check to see what days of the week museums or other normal paid admission activities may offer free or discounted days. Also grab every tourist map booklet you can find, since most backpackers are not staying in hostels, hit up a hotel or information station because almost 100% of the time there are coupons for 10% off or more for the attractions. 

#1 ACCOMODATIONS: 
CouchSurfing has been one of the largest reasons for keeping my daily costs down, since the average hostel or guesthouse in Korea can run you between ₩9,000 - ₩23,000 ($8.46 - $21.63) or more (typically more) and the prices generally increase for Friday and/or Saturday bookings. The guesthouse I am currently at, Mugunghwa House 무궁화집, if by far the nicest hostel with the most amenities I have stayed in all of my travels. When I first arrived I was in a 4-bed dorm with three other guys, and granted through the adoptee reunion Home to Home Program the 7-nights accommodation costs were covered, but I am now in a large private room with only one other single bed and the cost is only ₩15,000 ($14.10) per day. The amenities though…wow! First, there is a full large kitchen that is stocked with lots of communal food, everything from eggs, milk, cereal, pasta, veggies, juice, coffee, etc as well as the ability to do free laundry any time where laundry detergent is provided. 

All in all, I know that I have been able to keep an incredibly tight reins on my budget for Korea, with some financial assistance through ESWS, but even prior to this while I was CouchSurfing for two and a half weeks I was still maintaining this type of a daily budget and going to restaurants with my hosts almost nightly, so it is possible. This is just a few reasons why in 2011 CNN gave 50 reasons why Seoul is the world’s greatest city.  

(Photo © of 
Exploring Korea) 
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MY RTW PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
Sunday morning I am woken up by a bit of chatter as my friend Ara has plans to go hiking with a friend, I think the time is around 6:30am but I can barely get my eyes open, which when you’re Asian say a lot. After just a few more hours of sleep after going to bed close to 1am I am up at 8:30am as I want to make the most of my last day with my mom since my train departs Iksan at 3pm. This morning my mom has asked me to accompany her to church, which is only about a 10-minute walk from her place. It still amazes me that because of the late night culture in Korea that most shops, surprisingly enough the coffee shops, don’t open until 11am or even noon. The cool morning air continues to wake me up as we arrive the San Cheon Kwang Presbyterian Church (say that three times fast), where I am greeted by several people, but unfortunately have no idea what they are really saying or asking me. As we enter the church there is a large choir standing on a grand stand to the right and from what I can count about five or six video cameras with large screen monitors at both the front and the rear of the room. It reminds me of a southern Gospel church, but the preacher is wearing a beaming white suit and is very energetic. Attempting to understand what is being said, eventually I just enjoy the atmosphere of the place in spite of how frigid the room is where I am unable to remove my jacket and begin noticing that no one else in the room has done this either. After the service, my mom–being quite proud and excited–has a number of people she wants to introduce me to and soon I am bombarded with hugs and sayings that I am unsure what is said, except that they are happy for the both of us. 

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One of the couples that I am introduced to is the Director of the school that my mom works for and is a great friend to her. Unfortunately I cannot remember her name, but she is very excited to meet me along with her husband and before I know it we are being shuffled in to their car and driven to a nearby restaurant. Upon arriving at the restaurant I am told that my mother’s good friend owns it and we are prepared a special meal. As we are waiting for the food to arrive, the wooden door continues to slide open and a trickle of different middle-aged women continue to come in and meet me with enormous smiles on their faces. It makes me happy to see that my mom has plenty of friends since she is divorced and both of her children live in two separate areas of the country. I was afraid that she may be lonely, but I am told that she enjoys staying busy and often works a second job, not for the financial aspect, but because she would rather stay active. I tell Soon-Young that maybe I inherited this trait from her, because after I graduated University I contemplated acquiring a part time evening job, since I was working full time during school, and when I received my degree it seemed as though all of a sudden I had an abundance of free time since for several years I was used to going directly from work at 5pm to being in class until 8pm or even later and then staying up writing papers until midnight a lot of nights. Well, the meal did not disappoint by any means, but continued to set the bar even higher. I am told that the cold plate of uncooked beef that will soon be grilled up is quite expensive and is a delicacy in Korea. 

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I ask if it’s similar to Japanese Kobe beef, and quickly I am told it is better because it is Korean. For those that did not know due to the media, South Koreans do not fear or despise North Koreans or the Chinese nearly as much as they do the Japanese. Much of the negative sentiment for their island neighbor to the East can be equated to a variety of issues including pirate raids (Waegu (倭寇) from 1592-1598 to the more recent occupation and Japanese rule from 1910-1945, where Koreans were forcefully downtrodden to relinquish their culture and way of life and during this time the term ‘comfort women,’ was and still is brutal an to many an unknown travesty of World War II. I am given a brief history lesson that while many of the older generation still remember these harsh times, in order for Korean culture to continue underground schools were created since studying, reading, or writing Korean was forbidden, only Japanese was allowed. After being told this, I realize how strong the Korean spirit is as a people. While currently there really is not any type of absolute hatred for the Japanese, when it comes to sports or other competitive situations between the two countries, from the Korean side, there is great pride and celebration when beating Japan.

After this sad, but very important history lesson–I feel, the food begins to arrive in abundance. Each tray is filled with dishes of an assortment of meats, vegetables, soups–practically everything you could imagine–and I waste no time in trying everything I can possibly get my chop sticks in to. Awe, how dey-ricious, (I can hear my friend Steph now, haha)! When I am filled to capacity-overload, I am given one more dish, which is a soup filled with rice and grains. Unsure that I can pack it away, I am told that this helps with the digestion of a large meal. There is not much flavor to this oatmeal type substance, but as I begin eating it, I can notice a large difference in how bloated and fat-kid-esque I was feeling just moments earlier. As we are leaving the restaurant, my mother’s friend tells me that she has two daughters and unfortunately no son, but after meeting me today she feels as though she has inherited one and gives me a great big hug. 


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Walking back to my mother’s place to grab our bags before we set out for the train terminal for our 3pm departure, it is a sunny brisk Autumn afternoon and I can think of nothing better than enjoying my Sunday funday with my birth mom. After a short taxi ride, it a brief walk to the train station, but before we reach our destination my mother tells Soon-Young that she would like to stop by the bank very quickly. Extremely thankful that our volunteer translator has been with us since Friday afternoon, she tells me that my mother is going to give me some money and to accept it regardless because she wants to do this. Feeling a bit uneasy I agree, and when my mother returns she has an envelope of money for Soon-Young who attempts to decline the offer, but I look at her and give her the same advice that she gave me just moments before. We accept this gift, and as we reach the platform for the train my mom continues to squeeze tightly to me. I tell her not to be sad, but that we will see one another next weekend since she is planning to travel to Seoul on Saturday morning, and unlike many of the other adoptees in our group we are fortunate to have even more time together. This makes her happy as I give her a hug and soon the train has arrived and while we are standing under the correct sign for train car #7, we are about five or six cars further down from where the train actually came to a stop–strangely I was thinking this was the first mistake I’ve really noticed in Korea because most times everything is operating so efficiently. Being called to climb aboard the train by the ticket taker or agent, I notice that there is little time that the train waits for passengers. Soon-Young is told by one of the KTX employees to just board at this train car and walk through the train to our designated seats. After a very quick hug we climb aboard and even through the large windows as we walk from one car to the next, outside my mother is falling our every step. I cannot tell you how this made me feel. I just kept waving at her and smiling as she did the same until the train began to move and she was at the end of the platform. Later, even Soon-Young told me this was both heartwarming and difficult to watch.  

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I arrive back in Seoul at 4:50pm at the Yongsan station, but not before saying goodbye and thanking Soon-Young for being a wonderful volunteer translator for us for the entire weekend. I tell her to thank her family for allowing us to practically kidnap her, but she jokingly tells me that when she is away her children, whom are both teenagers, tend to get away with a lot more when they are just left with her husband. After 45-minutes, 8 subway stops with only one line transfer, and a short local bus ride I arrive back at the Mugunghwa guesthouse around 6pm. It appears that I am the first to arrive back in Seoul since almost everyone went to stay with their birth families over the weekend, and I decide to take advantage of this time with a long hot shower. During the week, as I expected, our group of 8 bonded very closely through this experience and since it is everyone’s last night plus Mikey’s 29th birthday tomorrow (or 30th according to Korean age) we have decided to try the infamous Noraebangs (노래방) which is literally translated as “song room,” or a private Karaoke room. The cost is only ₩20,000 ($18.83) for two-hours that is split between the eight of us. Horrific off-pitched singing accompanied with laughter as we sing our way through the 80s, 90s, and other various decades of iconic pop culture. While I took some video of this, I was blatantly told that it is not to be shared for fear of public ridicule, as I’m sure it could possibly go viral faster than Gangnam Style with how awesome we can sing as a group of Korean-Americans, plus one Dutch-Korean. All in all it was a great way to end the week with a group of new friends that I know I will have for life through such an incredible life-changing experience. 

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12 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT KOREA

11/1/2013

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Let someone meet your standard instead of you lowering yours to meet theirs all the time. Know your worth. – Author Unknown

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 (DAY 604)
Since I’ve been in South Korea for just over two-weeks, there have been an array of interesting cultural customs and facts about the country that I was born in, yet is still foreign to me that I’ve learned and experienced. Some things that people have asked that I can answer quickly or give some insight on: The style of clothing is cer
tainly cutting edge fashion and stylish, quite outside my backpacking clothing repertoire. Men, it is fitted everything from jeans to shirts and suits and for women, it is what you would expect for any major city; dresses, stillettos, big brand names, etc. Handing something to somone is always done with the right hand while your left hand is on your right bicept, while receiving an item you typically receive with your right hand or both hands extended. Never place both chopsticks upright into a bowl of rice, this signifies that you would like them to die. Politeness is as expected with Asian culture in general and Korea is no different. Unlike the subways in Rome, Paris, or NYC (where I’ve actually heard New Yorkers yell at people, “left foot, right foot it’s called walking, move it!”) the experience I’ve had in Seoul is that they are much more polite, standing and waiting in ques and exiting up the escalators or stairs with a semblance of order. Lastly, I cannot rave enough about the food! Incredible. Unbelievable. Scrum-diddly-umptious. Are there enough adjective in the English language? I doubt I can return to the States or any other Korean BBQ restaurant where my palatte will feel satisfied. I’ve heard the same from Ray after having authentic sushi in Japan. He said even eating at some of the most expensive and top rated restaurants from San Francisco to New York, it was still a disappointment. Ahh, first world problems. I am excited to try sannakji, which is small live octopus or nakji (낙지) probably some time next week sharing this delicacy with a few others since it can be quite expensive (₩ 30,000 or $28 or more). Well I’m sure more interesting and humorous facts will emerge as I am still in Korea for a little more than two weeks, but let’s get to the (drum roll purr-ease) 10 interesting facts, I find, about Korea thus far:

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#12 SIGNIFICANCE OF BLOOD: The symbolism of blood (피) as an ehtnic or racial nationalism is a policial ideal that is very important in Korean culture. Not only do most people know their blood type from a very young age as this is often associated with what type of personality the person has, but it is also a way to unifiy national pride. This is similar to many people in the States that follow and know their horoscope sign. This idea is centered around minjok (민족; 民族), which is translated as "nation," "people," "ethnic group," and "race-nation." Koreans still embrace the idea of "one people" (danil minjok; 단일민족; 單一民族) that is joined by a common bloodline. Often when someone has an interest in another one of the first questions asked is what their blood type is as a way to find out the compatibility of their personalities. The negative connotations of this traditional ideal, however, has caused tensions leading to renewed debates on multi-ethnicity and xenophobia both in Korea and abroad. The common language (that has influences from both Chinese and Japanese culture) is Hangul, which means Han (Korean–one) Gul (letter–country), to once again reinforce the idea of unity since Korea is such a small country and culture in a sense. (Photo is © of IESB)

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#11 GESTURES IN SOCIETY: 
As you may expect, there is still a high respect for the elderly (bowing relatively low upon meeting an older person as a sign of respect). During meals it is typically customary that the eldest person never waits to have their glass filled or to be handed their chop sticks or napkin, but at the same time if you are in a group you are never are to fill your own glass but always wait for another to do this. Last year in April of 2013 Bill Gates came to Korea to meet the President and there was a photo of him with his hand in his pants pocket during this meeting and this is seen as very disrepectful, even outside of meeting a prominent person. I asked, since the weather is cold if placing your hands in your jacket pocket is viewed the same, and was told no, but hands in your pants pocket upon meeting another person is a social faux paux. And there was an uproar on the Internet as many Koreans voiced their opinions of this greeting, especially since it was female President Park Geun-hye, and apparently a few years before he did not do this gesture when meeting the former male President. (Photo is © of AFP/GETTY IMAGES)

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#10 THE SUBWAY: 
While most Americans understand the social courtesy of giving up your seat for the elderly, handicapped, pregant mothers, or mothers with small children, there is an unspoken rule of the subway that I did not realize. On all of the subway cars there is a maroon section of seats, which is reserved for the elderly. Ingnorant of this unspoken rule, before I was told about it I would often sit down in this area because there was an open seat. I never realized that I was being scolded by the looks of other elderly people sitting around me, and while looking like your typical Korean that should know this custom, it was something I learned through being told by another local. Important! Also the subway stops running at midnight on the weekdays and actually stops around 11:30pm on Friday and Saturdays, so if you find yourself standing at a station late at night, you are out of luck, but thankfully taxis are inexpensive in Seoul. Also if you have a T-money transit card and you use to for say taking the bus to the subway station the transfer if free. There is about a 30-minute window to do this, but you will notice there is no additional charge for this transfer.

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#9 SPORTS: 
While taekwondo is the national sport of the country, baseball was introduced in the 20th Century by missionaries and has become extremely popular. I realized this when two CouchSurfing hosts Kakao’d me asking if I would be interesting in spending some money to go to one of the playoff games one weekend. In the States we have the World Series (of Fall Classic) and in Seoul you have the Korea Baseball Championship 한국야구선수권대회 which also occurs in the Fall. Unfortunately the 70,000 capicity stadium sold-out of tickets within 17-minutes and we were unable to acquire tickets. Unlike Major League Baseball (MLB) teams are not named after cities but after corportations, for example you have: the Samsung Lions, the Haitai Tigers, and the previous Hyundai Unicorns, which are now the Nexen Heroes. Since, Ich bin ein einhorn (German) I certainly would have been a fan of team Hyundai, I can already hear my German and Swiss-German friends laughing at this now. (Photo is © of Hyundai Group)

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#8 AGE: 
When you are born in South Korea, at the time of your birth you are considered to already be a year old, which for many women in the States, this would be a dreadful horrible thing.  


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#7 CRIME REENACTMENTS: 
Crime, specifically liberal crimes (i.e. rape and murder), in South Korea is an experience that forces the accused to participate in public humilation rituals which begin with the police incarcerating the invidual and making them go through the entire process of their crime. To add further humiliation, the media is often invited along to document the events. Those that have seen films such as Sympathy for Lady Vengeance or Mother, are not unfamiliar with this practice. The most infamous example of this is the story of a comic book store owner, Jeong Won-seob, which was accused of raping and murdering a schoolgirl in 1972. (Photo is © of Korean Joongang Daily News)

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#6 THE BORYEONG MUD FESTIVAL: 
This is not nearly the hidden-secret from travelers since it’s been occuring since 1998 and draws millions of people from all over the world, and probably brings in the largest number of international visitors specifically for this event, which generally occurs in July. Last year (2012) an estimated three million people participated in the diving, throwing, slipping, and stomping in the gray clay that is shipped from the Boryeong flats to the Daecheon Beach area. The event was originally created as a way to advertise mud cosmetics, but now has become just a great excuse to play in the mud. (Photo is © of SacBee.com)

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#5 HOLIDAYS: 
Unlike the States where Valentine’s day puts all of the pressure on the men to create the most romantic day, in South Korea the pressure is on the women and all about pampering the men. The Catch-22, however, is on March 14th (White Day) the role is reversed and men are expected to spend up to three times the amount on the gift they have received on Valentine’s Day, which is typically white in color. Looks like Hallmark knows how to capitalize on both sexes within a two month period. Also, on the 14th day of every single month there is a holiday in South Korea, click here, for the list and a brief description. (Photo is © of Jewon Lee)

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#4 WORLD’S LARGEST CHURCH: 
The Yoido Full Gospel Church may not be the largest church in physical size, statistically it is the largest congregation in the world with close to one-million members, and any given Sunday there can be upwards of 200,000 faithful attendees at the service, not including the several hundreds of thousands watching the sermon live on television. According to Wikipedia, five of the ten largest Protestant churches (Megachurches) were in South Korea. (Photo is © of JSC)

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#3 EDUCATION: 
The College Scholastic Ability Test (CSAT) abbreviated as Suneung (수능) is given every November and is highly stressful for high school students. The score that is calculated is said to determine the individual’s entire professional life because it determines, which University you may get accepted to (Seoul National being the most coveted apparently), as well as the career path and generated level of success for the person. This year the test is set to take place on November 7, 2013. Once the test is administered during the verbal section of the test (roughly 20-minutes) all air traffic (commerical and military) will be brought to a screeching hault. If there are surrounding or shared middle or elementary schools nearby a highschool often classes are canceled on the day this annual exam is given. And to show how stressful and serious they take this, if it weren’t enough that air traffic and even emergency vehicles attempt not to use sirens during this period wasn’t enough, if you are a student and running late to your school you can actually flag down a police car and they will drive you hastily to get you to your destination to take the test. Even some business will have delayed starts in the morning in order to cause less congestion on the public transportation system. (Photo is © of Newsis)

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#2 TECHNOLOGY: 
South Korea is the only nation in the world that is completely broadband connected, at speeds of 100Mb. Tech giants, LG and Samsung, have their origins in the country and working for either typically guarantees a very comfortable lifestyle. Also from personal experience, unlike all of the other major cities that I have traveled to, I have never been able to walk down public streets, block after block for miles, and continue to pick up free Wi-Fi, which as a backpacker and frugal budget traveler I try not to purchase pre-paid SIM cards. Plus, once again since everyone in South Korea uses the free mobile app Kakao to communicate this makes for a huge convenience to me. Smartphone usage is also taken to an entirely new level in Seoul. People often barely look up, whether it's walking down the street, on the subway, at dinner, etc a permanent fixture of looking down playing games or using social media. (Photo is © of Samsung Group)

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#1 ATTACK OF THE PLASTICS, COSMETICS & PLASTIC SURGERY: 
Did you know that South Korea is in the top five worldwide for cosmetic surgery? One in five women in Seoul have had some type of procedure done and one of the most popular that I was unaware of blepharoplasty, also known as "double eyelid surgery" and can be done for as cheap as $400. Men are not exempt from this category, whether it be surgery or purchasing cosmetics. Apparently men spend on average $900 million a year on a variety of facial cleansers, anti-ageing moisturizes, eye creams, and skin-whitening or bleaching creams. Yes, the lighter your skin, the more prominent person you are in Korean society. This seems to be a reverse ideal from what it used to be in the States–meaning those that were more pale in color were of higher ranking in society, while the more tan or darker you were signified that you work outside doing a lower-class manual labor job and over time now it signifies the darker or more tan you are is not only more attractive but typically shows that you have more leisure time to enjoy lounging around the pool.

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MY RTW PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
Since yesterday was quite the surreal experience with meeting my birth mother for the first time, the actual flood of emotions didn’t hit me until later last night as I was alone in bed and just brokedown. It was something that I have dreamt about and I could have never guessed that our first meeting would have gone as well as it did. Still thinking back to leaving her at the subway station and having her watching me walk away and looking back about halfway down the block and she was still standing in the exact spot, watching my every step and as she saw me turn back she was there with the biggest smile on her face waving at me–this still gets to me. And after posting the blog about the experience I cannot be thankful and feel blessed by all of the incredible support from family and friends that left such encouraging comments. So again thank you all!

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Today, our morning began with waking up at 8am where it is the first time both groups are gathered together, since we were divided into two groups for meeting our birth families on Tuesday (morning and afternoon sessions), this is our first chance to meet everyone in the Home to Home Program. Our division has also separated the eight of us, where Mikey, Danielle and Kaitlynn (aka the twins), and myself are staying at Mugunghwa House, while Stephanie, Angi, Emily, and Hanah are staying at ESWS Headquarters. Brief introductions are made before the whirlwind of an exhausting week of events begins. Our first stop on the tour of the nursery where all of the babies waiting to be adopted or placed with foster parents. Since I have been fortunate enough to have experienced this already, it was more fun to see how everyone else reacted to this heart-wrenching moment–just knowing that every one of us, with the exception of Hanah, had spent some amount of time here before being adopted by our American families. After spending several minutes in this area we were escorted to a larger office where we were shown a short 8-minute video of the history of Eastern Social Welfare Services and then met with the President, Dr. Kim Jin Sook, who shared a bit of her life growing up in Korea, who it has changed, and more about the history of ESWS. As stomachs began growling we noticed that the next item on our itinerary was a provided lunch. Since the facility consists of an entire office building that is about six or seven floors and we walked from one floor to another, finally we are escorted through a double doors and I am surprised that there is rather large dining hall that is the cafeteria for the workers and volunteers. Since the room is practically empty they have set up a table for us and there is a prepared traditional Korean meal for our group. Sticking closely to our structured schedule, lunch is exactly one-hour before we are told that we will be visiting GyeongBokGung Palace, where taxi fares and several volunteer translators will be accompanying us for the afternoon. The next thing we know since our group is about 15-people as some of the other adoptees family members are joining us, we are split up between several taxis and quickly Hanah, Angi, myself, and one of the volunteers are practically tossed in to a taxi. Once we begin driving we can’t help but laugh at how chaotic this is already beginning to feel a bit. 

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The impressive Gyeongbokgung (경복궁) , also known as Gyeongbokgung Palace or Gyeongbok Palace, is an impressive structure first built in 1395 and was later caught on fire and abandoned for almost three centuries. It was not reconstructed until 1867 and consists of five grand palaces built by the Joseon Dynasty. The name means "Palace" (Gung) "Greatly Blessed by Heaven" (Gyeongbok). Since this is part of our cultural experience of Korea, tickets as well as an English tour guide is provided. As arrive at the entrance we for fortunate enough to watching the changing of the guards dressed in traditional Korean attire, this lasts for about 15-minutes before we begin the long 90-minute tour. Several of the girls are not prepared for all of the walking, wearing heels, on a mix of dirt gravel sections and large flagstones courtyards that encompass the five-inner courtyards or palaces before finally reaching the king’s private living quarters, Gangnyeongjeon Hall. By the time the tour finishes, we are already exhausted and this is only the beginning of more walking. After speaking with the volunteers we are told that there is not enough time to return to our places of accommodation, since we are being taken to the musical Nanta in a few short hours. After coming to a strong consensus as a group after wandering around the area of the Grand Palance, we beg our guides to help us find a coffee shop so we can just sit and rest for a few moments. After a 15 or 20-minute walk and several debates in Korean among our volunteers we finally reach Tom N Tom’s Coffee. This brief break only allows for about 20-minutes before we are told that we need to begin finding taxis and are shuffled to the Nanta Theater.

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Arriving at the Nanta Theater around 4pm, the tickets for the show were provided at no cost to the adoptees, but since we had several family members that joined us, they had to purchase their own tickets, which range between ₩40,000 and ₩70,000 ($38-$66). While the show is described as a non-verbal perfomance that integrates Korea’s traditional rhythm, Samulnori, with comedy, there is some dialect, but even without any understanding of Korean the show is easy to follow as it relies more on body language and comedic puns. After discussing a description of the performance, we came to the general consensus that the 90-minute show is similar to Stomp: The Musical meets a live version of Iron Chief. NANTA is quite entertaining and I would suggest going, especially if you have children. There is also a bit of audience participation and a high degree of encouraging the crowd to clap and make noise. Unsure the length of this production, since in the States most shows have a relative period of time, Nanta however has a long history as it began in 1997 and seems to be a permanent show, boasting more than 7,000,000 worldwide have enjoyed the performance and in 2009 received the award for being the Best Urban program. Even if you are not planning to be visit Seoul while in Korea but wold like to catch the performance, there are apparently three theaters locations throughout Korea according to their website. 

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After the show we had the slight chaos of once again organizing multiple taxis back to the Hongdae area for all of us, and while transportation and all of today’s organized activity costs were provided, dinner however was not. Feeling quite hungry and a lack of restaurants directly around the area of our accommodtions Angi, Hanah, and myself were the lone few that did not have plans with our families as everyone else did, so the three of us wandered around the area until we found an inexpensive restaurant and began sharing our personal experiences together. It was a great chance to be in a smaller group setting and hearing about how each of us grew up, what this trip to Korea has been to us, and all of the emotional highs and lows we’ve been experiencing. At one point Angi decided to leave Hanah and I at the restaurant to wonder off and purchase some souvenirs. This was great because Hanah and I were too exhausted from all today’s walking that we were content to just sit in the restaurant and keep talking. I still love hearing Aussie accents, and since Hanah is from the wine country near Adelaide–the souther part of the country, I enjoyed hearing her talk more than myself. Since I want to respect all of the new friends I’ve made that are adoptees, I won’t be sharing much of their personal stories because I still undersand that it can be both a very private and sensitive topic even though most of us have shared with one another very often painful experiences we’ve had both growing up and dealing with the roller coaster of meeting our birth families for the first time. We did have a great evening of discussion, and I felt that with each conversation I would have with each of the members in our group, this being one of the first, for the week that this would be a lifelong bond that we would all share with one another even after departing at the end of the week. Since Thursday was our earliest morning of the weeklong events and strict itinerary–waking up at 6:30am in order to be prepared to leave at 7:40am tomorrow–we decided to call it a night.

I will say that since my backpacking lifestyle has been a very open lifestyle with a lack of any specific daily or weekly plans at time, this is certainly a drastic change and has been the most structured itinerary I have had to deal with in almost 2-years, but regardless it still has been amazing to be surrounded by other Korean adoptees and to be in a place where we feel a connection to our heritage has been wonderful. Knowing and discussing that we are no longer the minority, and not described as the 'short asian girl' or the 'asian whatever' feels nice, and we all feel that those that have never felt like a minority, could certainly benefit from undergoing what it feels like to be constantly stared at and even asked ridiculous questions, which will be brought up in a future post. Until then, rets just have a rearry good time! 

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TRAVELING THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES

10/31/2013

1 Comment

 

The best way to pursue happiness is to help other people. Nothing else will make you happier. - George Lucas

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Thursday, October 31, 2013 (DAY 605)
Even though I am in a First World country that ranks #13 in the world’s most dynamic economies, I often miss Third World countries. This may sound absolutely insane to many people, because you often think of both rural environments, sanitation and health issues, as well as general safety, but from spending a fair amount of time in what is considered Third World countries, I find the overall populus much happier and while they may not have the luxuries of materialistic objects, their quality of life seems much happy and the family dynamic structure is more in tact. Don’t get me wrong, growing up in the United States I certainly appreciate many of the opportunities and things that I was given, but I feel that maybe as a global society we need to take a harder look at what is truly important in our lives. For example, being in Korea there has been a rapid, almost overnight transformation of Western culture and influence. The pressure of women and even men about physical appearance is becoming more prevalent. Self identity is lost and replaced with people’s potential earning power, education level, and career fields. Stop and think about when you meet a new person, often the question is, ‘what do you do for a living?’ And based upon this reponse people tend to sum you as an individual up by a few short words–teacher = probably not making much money, construction worker = often uneducated labor worker, doctor = smart and wealthy, and the list goes on. I know that through many of the conversations I’ve had with other travelers, we enjoy that while as mundane and repetitive the questions may be about where you are from and traveling and etc, at least people are not only interacting but they are not as quick to define you or pigeonhole you to a specific type A or type B person, but taking the time to get to know you as a person. Since I have had a very hectic week, and have lots to catch up on while the memories are fresh I will just say that there are several things I do miss about Third World countries and give a short list:


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COSTS: 
As a backpacker these are the countries that offer the best bang for your buck! While scams and hustling are an issue, these countries tend to be more relaxed about tourists visa days allowed, border entry and exit fees, and for many countries they have a separate division of tourists police because a significant part of their economy relies upon those that are willing to travel to these so-called dangerous or underdeveloped countries. But things such as accommodation, food, drinks, even activites are much cheaper. For example I did a single-day diving trip in 2010 in Australia when I was still working in television and paid over $680 for 3 dives, while on the other hand I paid $259 for my PADI Open Water Diving Certification in Utila, Honduras with Parrots Dive Center that included the mandatory amount of dives, classroom materials, an additional two fun dives after being certified that were about 45-minutes each, a celebratory day-trip to one of the uninhabitated islands in the Caribbean, and 5-nights of accommodation in a 4-bed dorm. And yes, all of this for only $259.  

LUXURIES: 
While you can still find hotel rooms with air-conditioning, when you’re traveling and staying where other locals or backpackers stay this is often not an option, but embrace it. You will be amazed at what your body can get adjusted to, whether that be the cold or the heat). Also another obvious, but I will still mention it, don’t visit any country regardless of what so-called degree it may be considered and expect the same type of luxuries you are used to back home (i.e. firm beds, western toilets, etc). 


SIMPLICITIES OF LIFE: 
Yes power outages ocurred often at times, but instead of breaking down and getting pissed off, we chose to view this as an opportunity to set down our electronic devices and have even more conversations. I feel that especially being in Korea and talking with a variety of people in age, the older generation worries that the younger generation is so enthralled in their smart phones that the idea of human interaction is all done through social apps, texting, Facebooking, etc. and we forget what it’s like to talk. I remember my parents began texting us when it was dinner time and how often do you see couples (in a wide variety of ages) sitting in restaurants or bars not speaking to one another as they sit directly across from one another and just staring at their smartphones, often playing games not even communicating with another person. Very sad. 

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While I try and also give the cons even after the pros about something, there are some but I still feel, personally, that these are minor issues and have always said that I would rather live dirt poor on a beach or something happy with every day of my life than making a six-figure income in the States stressed out and hating my life, because once again the quality of life, to me, easily is more important than the quantity of life. I also would tell people that 5-years from now who cares if you drove a BMW are you really going to remember that? When I look back on my life in 5-years I would like to think of all of the experiences I have had, the people that I have met, those I was able to help, and the places that I have been. Once again please don’t think I’m trying to come off sitting on a pedistal trying to tell people how they should live their lives, I just want to continue to encourage people to be open to how much of the rest of the world does live, and while they have little-to-nothing, their level of happiness is something we as a more modern of First World society should take a closer look at in general. So some of the quick negatives:

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INCONSISTENT UTILITIES: 
There can be things such as I mentioned, power outages that occur frequently and can last for hours or even days. I have also experienced times where water went dry from the faucets for a few hours or even an entire day. 

THEFT: 
Because these countries are quite poor it seems that petty theft is a larger problem. For example in Nicaragua when the average monthly salary for an individual is just over $160, and people carrying smartphones around (which are just now beginning to come down to an affordable price for many people) they often view these objects as something that can be stolen and sold and cover feeding their entire family for several months. 

EDUCATION/COMMON SENSE: 
While I don’t want to poke fun at this, my friend Lindsay and I would always say that common sense is non-existent in many areas of Central America, and it’s due to the fact that education standards or just continuing education may not be available to all families, often due to the cost to send a child to school. 

So again these are just a few things that are pros and cons about Third World countries I thought I would share. And, again as surprisingly as it may sound to many of you, I do enjoy traveling Third World countries very much, because the people tend to be so wonderful and inviting.  


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MY RTW PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
Today is our earliest morning according to the schedule for the week. Most of us are waking up at or before 6am, which makes for a rough morning since several of us did not make it back to Mugunghwa House until after midnight. One of the interesting things in Korean culture is that it is a late-night culture. It is very rare to find a coffee shop or any restaurant open before 11am. The reason for this is that many shops will stay open late in to the night, even on weeknights. When I asked about this, I was told from a local that it is a problem and is actually often a reason for divorce, because men are pressured to work both long hours as well as be expected to participate in after work dinners and drinks. It is also a cultural difference that workers will not leave the office until their boss or superior does, which from what I’ve personally noticed averages around 8pm. Also it tends to be a reverse drinking culture, where once again young men growing up are spending all of their time studying in high school and university to obtain highly valued careers that there is not time for going out for drinks, so the reverse aspect of this is that you will often see grown men in full on business suits puking on the side of the street or passed out in the street in their suits because they are not used to drinking in this manner, but oddly has become a part of Korean culture, I think some from Western influence. (Photo is © of John P. Gamboa)

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Our volunteer translator, Eileen, tells us that we can wait in their small café while she finds the person who will be giving us a tour of the facility. After a short video that was played off of a VHS tape, old school yo, we toured the various programs that are offered in each of the four or five buildings we visitied. The first was a facility that trained mentally challenged or disabled people and helped to provide them with skills such as baking, running the small café or shop, and the Korean version of Dunder Miffilin–a paper supply minifactory that was again ran by a group of mentally challenged adults in their 30s. We also had a chance to visit the school that ranges from a kindergarten through high school and were given a tour by the director or principal of the school. Once again I was glad to see that the interior of the building was not drab, but full of colorful artwork and photos on the walls and if you didn’t know any better you might easily mistake it for a smaller public school in the States. We were hoping to visit ‘Jacob’s Home,’ which is where many of the children that had not been adopted at ESWS while babies or placed in foster care, were moved to this facility to be with children that are a bit older. One of the girls in our group, Hanah our lone Aussie, actually had a deeper connection with this facility because she was adopted from here after living in ‘Jacob’s Home’ until she was about 3 and a half years old. Unfortunately the building is under construction and we were unable to tour it. Both her and I had also brought a few gifts for the kids, and this also bummed us out that we would not have a chance to meet with them as many of the kids were on a field trip for the day so we had to leave our gifts with one of the school administrators. On our way to tour ‘Esther’s Home’ was by far my favorite part of the day. As we were walking by the quad there was a group of both American troops and ROK (Republik of Korea) soldiers playing with some of the toddlers. Being told to wait for a moment, after a few short minutes we received permission from our guide that it would be ok to join them. Eager to start playing with the kids we started to jump the small boulders surrounding the grassy area and start playing with the kids alongside the soldiers. Losing track of time, and needing to keep to our rigid schedule, we were soon told that we had one last building to tour, which was ‘Esther’s Home.’ This facility is for pregnant unwed mothers that are given refuge from bad home environments or abusive situations and are given everything from housing to education courses as well as professional counseling sessions. Some of the women are planning to give their children up for adoption, while others plan to raise their children themselves and are given a variety of resources to secure housing and employment skills for after they leave ‘Esther’s Home.’ At the end of our tour our guide was a very humorous Korean, that often did not mean to be, and one of the funniest parts of the tour was when he was telling us that he has a younger daughter that loves some American television shows and when we asked which ones in particular he said, “Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants.” As soon as he said this, our entire group couldn’t hold in the laughter, and finally someone said do you mean “SpongeBob SquarePants?” Awe, oh yes, he said, and still we could not stop laughing. At the end of the tour we all thanked him for everything and boarded the bus to head to our next destination, Minsokchon (Korean Folk Village), which was an hour away.

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Arriving close to 2pm, way off schedule from our itinerary, by this point our group was starving. After speaking with Eileen she told us that we would be having lunch at a restaurant inside Minsokchon (한국 민속촌), which is a living museum of a traditional Korean Folk Village in the city of Yongin. The purpose of this highly touristy destination is to display traditional Korean life and culture. Since our group was more concerned with food that sightseeing, we chose a restaurant rather quickly and were informed that we were given individual budgets of ₩11,000 ($10.34) for our meal, which wasn’t difficult as there were only a few items on this limited menu that exceeded this per diem. Lunch was an excellent time that allowed each of us to talk about our various experiences growing up, shared some painful memories of the racial slurs and teasing we each experienced, but we also talked about the hilarious stereotypes that we embrace with family and close friends. Everything from nicknames of ninjas, sad pandas, and even at one point when Hanah wandered off after ordering her food to purchase some gifts for her husband and two-year-old son, when the food arrived, Mikey being sarcastic went in to a few shops looking for her and asked if they had seen a short Asian girl. Dumbfounded the shopkeepers didn’t find humor in this, but of course, when he returned and told us this, we all laughed and thought how great it was to be in a country–our country, where we weren’t a minority. We also had a great discussion about dumb things white people say to us, here’s just a few things that tend to annoy us and we find pretty insulting:

Where are you from? And when we answer things like Colorado, Minnesota, New York, they follow up with no, no I mean where are you really from.

Asking our parents so who is this? Oh so you’re not a foreign exchange student?

The phrase ‘me love you long time,’ get some new material.

I bet you know karate or something huh? So according to this logic being white I bet you know how to shape a pillowcase into a cone and make a noose.

So being adopted, you should feel really grateful. Ok number one, yes I am grateful for the opportunities I was given, but that’s just very offensive on a lot of levels. That’s like telling a person’s biological kid that they should feel special because their parents decided to have sex and they were born. Really people! Constantly pointing out the fact that we are different from our families BECAUSE we are adopted is VERY insulting and rude!

I feel as though the girls get a lot worse…they HATE things like when guys come up to them and tell them that they have an Asian fetish, they have the yellow fever, they’ve always been in to Asian girls, etc.

So seriously people, I know that racial sensitivity and political correctness is often over exaggerated, but just STOP and fricken think about the stuff that you are saying at times. It’s similar to the fact that OUR close friends and among each other, we can make fun of one another and often it is self-deprecating, but if we don’t know you and you try one of these things, you will unleash the ninja-dragon. For example it’s just as with African-Americans there is a certain degree of words that can be thrown around among one another, and within the Asian community it is the same. So just again stop and think and have some respect.  


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Since many of us were so exhausted after lunch, we made a group decision to forego the guided tour and limited our time to about 30 more minutes after lunch at Minsokchon before taking the almost 2-hour bus ride back to Seoul. I think within minutes of boarding the bus the majority of us were quickly asleep or at least tried very hard to sleep. About 4:45pm we arrived back at ESWS and immediately I was pulled aside from Ms. Kang where she informed me that unfortunately Eastern would not be able to accommodate her for her one-night stay in Seoul or help with the expenses, since time was running short–knowing my mom was arriving tomorrow–Ms. Kang was at least able to find a hotel that was just a few short blocks away. Since it was already late Thursday afternoon and many hotels and guesthouses can fill up over the weekend in the city, we literally sprinted down the street to the hotel hoping that there was a vacancy. By the way, Ms. Kang is fast for a shorter Korean–I’m talking marathon speeds. Since Eastern was unable to help assist in the cost for my mom’s accommodation, I paid the ₩40,000 ($37.60) out of my own money, which was a little bit of a hit since I was still averaging my daily spending of between $4-12 a day. Regardless, I was just thankful to have a room secured for her when she arrives tomorrow afternoon. After this transaction was completed, once again Ms. Kang and I sprinted as though there were a pack of velociraptors chasing us, and by the time we made it back to ESWS (a quick 3-minute run) there was a taxi waiting where Mikey, Danielle, and Kaitlynn were already sitting inside waiting on me to take us back to Mugunghwa House. On the short drive to the house we were discussing doing a group dinner since this was our only night of the week and the program, where there was no scheduled evening activities and the first item on Friday’s agenda didn’t begin until 4pm for most people. Everyone was in agreement of this idea, but wanted to relax a bit first since it was only about 5:30pm after we arrived at the guesthouse. Thinking this would be a great opportunity to just lay on my bed and maybe even get in a power nap, as soon as I walked in the house and my iPhone connected to the Wi-Fi I received a Kakao message from my CouchSurfing from Ara, a local that has grown up in Korea and is also very interested in traveling, asking if I wanted to meet up with her since she was on the subway at the moment and could be in my area in the next 15 minutes. Asking if it’s possible to meet up later, she said either she was going to get off at the Hognik University station or keep taking the train to head back to her University, which is an hour and a half away. Feel the pressure to make a decision I decided since our group was thinking of going out for dinner later and no one wanting a late night. I figured this would be fine. Fight off the exhaustion, you just have to do it sometimes, is what I told myself. So still rushing from one place to another I grabbed a local bus and headed to the subway to meet Ara. Meeting Ara was a great experience. Since she spoke English very well, she was able to give me more insight in to Korean culture. I know that I had learned a few things from other Americans that have been living here for anywhere from 2-8 plus years but hearing it from a local that grew up in the culture is completely different. We shared a lot of laughs and she was very interested in all my travels backpacking since she is planning her first trip out of Korea to India in December, so I was able to give her some tips. I continued to wait to hear back from the rest of the group about dinner, but the enthusiasm wore off quickly and exhaustion won the battle even in spite of not having an early morning. Since the subway stops running at midnight and we lost track of time talking about so many different things. It was 11:30pm when we departed, but we made plans to keep in touch since her University is only 30-minutes away from Iksan, the city my birth mother lives in, and she said that she would love to meet her and help be a translator for us since I told her that ESWS would only be providing us with a translator for Friday afternoon and again on Saturday until about 3 or 4pm while we were in Yoseou. I knew it would be a struggle with a lot of hand gestures with the absence of a translator. So when she agreed to meet up with us Saturday afternoon or evening I was very excited. After a very quick goodbye she headed to the subway and I began the 20-minute walk back to Mugunghwa house, where I proceeded to pass out like a NyQuil® addict.

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