To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world. – Freya Stark
First off, let me begin by giving a proper shout out as I wish my bestest friend in the whole world an apology for becoming so old! Look at you ahh fräulein, the prettiest princess in Vegas for your berfday! I am sad to be missing it, but I am quite sure that you are now officially old enough NOT to need an adult. Scratch that, I'm actually certain you will ALWAYS need an adult and possibly even one of those child safety leashes so you don't wander off staring at bright lights or being enticed to jump in a rusted out van that has “Free Candy” spray painted awkwardly down the side. I still question your mental ability for willingly choosing to live in Ohio, which most of the world travelers I've met would agree that they would rather live in Kabul, on the bad side of town. Yes, think that over the next time you word vomit your precious O-H, I-Ohhhhh my, I think I just messed my lederhosen in the most unproper of manners. Even Lebron has jumped ship from the armpit of America, too soon Buckeye State? Well if it is, I apologize, just remember The Drive by John Elway and I'm sure drowning your tears in your Glee pillowcase will make everything better. Ah, you know I heart Columbus, otherwise I wouldn’t rag on it as badly as I do the ugly redheaded stepchild, that is our friendly neighbors to the north, oh Canada. Fräulein, you should be ashamed of yourself sir, our pact to take over the world one miracle of life dance at a time is a fleeting dream, just like your youth. How was it again to actually bear witness to the discovery of fire? Jesse, it is your birthday my dear friend, and, you never cease to amaze me in all the ways you continually embarrass me in the public spectacles that should be considered shame. Yet you embrace them, and in doing so, I salute you viejo amigo, happy birthday buddy!