I feel as though for the first time in several weeks I'm able to appreciate the excitement of what I'm about to begin. I know that may sound ridiculous, but I feel that I've been so overwhelmed with all of the obligatory items to check off my multiple lists plaguing my thoughts nightly that, finally, I am able to breathe–able to pull in the moment and quietly picture the beauty of giving up so much to gain that much more. This realization, unfortunately, did not develop from my own common sense, but my friends Marc and Erin pointed this out to me over dinner last Friday night at The Fox & Hound. Erin, in particular, mentioned that I finally seem to have the excitement about leaving, rather than being stressed and worried about all the things I still had to get done. I couldn't help but smile realizing that I felt as though I had just regained that youthful excitement from when I first spoke about this idea...this dream...this wonderful adventure.
Earlier today, I had a great conversation with a coworker, Mike, who is also an international traveler that shares in the same passion that few choose to embrace–a niche of global thrill-seekers that tend to rely upon strangers as well as one another in an uncanny bond. This bond that is almost non-existent in modern day American society. Instead of paranoia and fear, it's feelings of being more understanding and willing to relate to another person–another human being. Seeing one another not as inconveniences such as bad drivers or impatient customers in line at Starbucks, but to come down to very real encounters that are personal in nature. Hypocrite? I know, trust me, I'm just as guilty of it as well but I hope to begin reshaping my attitude toward what life is really supposed to be...experiences! These experiences don't just have to be on a level of travel but can be changes that take place within your own life by finding that dream that excites and brings happiness to you. Just as I became caught up with all of the anxiety that comes with wrapping up my current life, it took stepping back to realize the larger picture of this dream and how I'm willing to pursue it at all cost, and this brief pause has helped to change my attitude leading up to the next forty-two days.
I've learned to realize that regardless of how prepared and how much hard work and planning you have put into anything, especially life, it is always differential in nature forcing you to react as opposed to being able to control every aspect. And once again lies the great drama that is life, unfolding before our eyes to build and create our character, the same character that exists this very moment in time. I suppose the question of tonight would have to be, what does your character look like from what you have overcome in life thus far?